Urge To Leave Everything
Sometimes, we feel like abandoning all worldly possessions and retreating to a solitary place where no one but Allah listens to us—a place where we’re not judged, where we don’t have to weigh our words before speaking, where we’re valued, where our words matter, where no one questions us, where we have an identity, and where our will prevails. At some point, we all experience moments when we feel that people no longer need us, that we’re no longer good enough for others, that no one likes us, that we’re useless, that no one supports us, that people only use us for their own purposes, that they taunt us, that they don’t understand us.
But the question is: why do we feel this way? Why do we think like this? Why is there this internal struggle, this constant entanglement within ourselves?
The only answer seems to be that we want others to understand us without making an effort to understand them. We want people to keep talking to us while we sit silently, just listening. Listening to others is good, but more than that, we need to understand each other—each other’s emotions, feelings, and experiences. If there’s a disagreement between a husband and wife, both should talk to each other, understand each other’s feelings and emotions. It shouldn’t be that someone else comes and plants an idea in the husband’s mind, and without investigating the truth, he starts arguing with his wife, stops talking to her, or begins fighting. In every relationship, it’s essential to understand each other’s feelings and emotions—whether it’s with parents, siblings, or others. The elder shouldn’t assume they’re always right because they’re older, nor should the younger feel dominated just because they’re younger.
We don’t want to escape the world; we want to escape from those who don’t understand our feelings, who mock our emotions, who constantly try to belittle us, who have no respect for others. We want to be free from such people, and when we can’t escape them, we try to escape the world itself. Every person should understand that Allah has created each individual for a unique purpose. If someone is mentally unwell and you pressure them to become like others—an engineer, doctor, or scientist—it’s not possible. That pressure will only worsen their condition. Instead of imposing our desires on others, if we start understanding them and their feelings, every person would feel content with their life and find their existence fulfilling. But no, this is the world we live in, where we’re expected to live as society dictates. If society wants us to become doctors, our parents pressure us to become doctors. If society wants us to become engineers, our parents push us toward that. We were sent into this world as free individuals, but society turned us into puppets without us even realizing it.
Allah Almighty says that every person will receive what they strive for, and each will be judged, then fully rewarded.
Surah An-Najm: 39-41
But what a person wants to do, what they want to strive for, they’re not allowed to pursue. Instead, they’re forced to do what they don’t want because of our so-called society. As a result, a person can neither fully dedicate themselves to one thing nor succeed in it. To become a successful person, focus and passion are essential, but here, the focus is on conformity, not passion.
Still, we don’t run away from this society because we have to live within it until death comes. Suicide is forbidden, and it’s not a desirable solution or a way to escape problems. Rather, it’s a door to another trial where one can only fail, and I don’t think I’d participate in a test designed for failure.
Our Prophet (peace be upon him) said that whoever faces a calamity should remember the calamity of his passing and be patient, for no one in his ummah will face a trial greater than the hardship of his death.
Whenever I feel that people’s words or their tone hurt me, I remember the Prophet (peace be upon him) and the injustices he endured. It makes my pain and troubles feel smaller. I feel that our difficult life is like a blessing because all the prophets and companions faced hardships, and it was through patience and steadfastness in Tawheed that they were promised paradise. So, if I remain patient through my difficulties and obey Allah with a sincere heart, He will grant me paradise too. He never lets the hopes of His righteous servants break, provided we strive to be righteous.
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